In loving memory of Diggy

This year, the day after Christmas, we had to put down a beloved cat who had been with us for the last 14 years. His name was Diggy, short for Dignity. I miss him so much. He was a very special cat who we all adored.

Diggy came to our barn full of hay in the winter of 2003. My Dad found him, and we started feeding him out there. I began to go out and cuddle with Diggy in the hay, and we quickly became close friends.

Diggy in our barn

He would hunt for mice and birds around our house but would usually come when called. He had the cutest little run and was always so excited to see us. When I was in high school, the high point of my day was getting to spend time with Diggy.

Lisa with Diggy outside barnDiggy with our horses

I spent many hours outdoors playing with and petting him. We would run in the horse pasture together, cuddle by the pole barn, and play in the grass on the lawn. During the colder months, we would let him in the house for a while to feed him and spend time with him. I would take him in my bedroom and cuddle with him. He was so sweet and gentle and just loved to be with us. We called him our little horse because he spent a lot of time with our horses and would roll around in the dirt and hay.

Diggy looking over yard

Lisa with Diggy on lawn

One winter about six years ago, we decided it was time for Diggy to retire from being an outside cat and come live inside with us. He was more than happy to and adjusted to it well. We were both older, and I was in college and had less time to spend with him. Still, on breaks and time home I would enjoy being with him greatly. We all loved and adored him.

Diggy in the windowDiggy on the floorDiggy with me inside

Letting him go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. He was suffering, though, and it was time. He will live on in my heart, dreams, and thoughts.

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“I Tried”

I wrote a song this week for the first time in a very long time. It has lyrics, but this is an arrangement of it for piano quintet (piano + string quartet). It is called “I Tried.” Below is a recording followed by a video of the score with the recording playing, if you are curious what it looks like.

My inspiration for this piece is the way I feel when I try hard to do something and come so close but ultimately fail. It is about going on in the face of adversity — trying to keep myself caring despite feeling like fate is against me. See the lyrics below.

All my memories in cycles abound,
There’s no reason to not ask around,
Stop me before I fall flat on the ground,
You won’t believe what I found.

Because the circle is never complete,
And if you look closely, the lines do not meet,
Everyone’s dancing to some other beat,
Will I land on my feet?

Oh, I tried, and I tried, and I tried.
Oh, I tried, and I tried, and I tried.
Oh, I tried, and I tried, oh, I tried.
You can know that I tried,
Oh, I tried.

From this cavern I watch in despair,
Full of sorrow I just cannot bear,
Once more I ask myself why must I care,
They say how could I dare.

Here with silence, my only last friend,
With a future that just will not bend,
And as the darkness begins to descend,
Is this how it will end?

I tried so hard for so long got it wrong.
I don’t believe there is any reason to forget.

Oh, I tried, and I tried, and I tried.
Oh, I tried, and I tried, and I tried.
Oh, I tried, and I tried, oh, I tried.
You can know that I tried,
Oh, I tried.

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